I’ve always dreamt of doing something heroic. I’m not even sure what that really means but I’m constantly chasing the idea that life has a Grand Scheme or Hidden Purpose that I’m yet to discover, and when I do, I’ll Change the World.
I’m now starting to realize this is possibly because of a keen sense of inadequacy that I’ve always had. The idea that I’m supposed to throw myself into some all-consuming mission also means that I consistently fail to meet my own expectations. Sometimes when I’m clearing weeds in the garden I come across earthworms, possibly one of my favourite creatures. (Also one of the cleanest to dissect in zoology lab haha.) Earthworms are beautiful unassuming little fellows, working away patiently, doing their thing, rarely making a public appearance, helping fields and flowers grow above ground, while they bury deeper. And I derive so much comfort from this: that maybe there’s no grand plan at all but just a collection of the little things we do. Maybe like earthworms, we can make our lives mean something by just doing our bit without worrying about the impact, by getting out of the way, and by being mostly harmless.